Amelia, so sorry for your little pooch. Mine was put down a year and a half ago. It's never easy. Mine was a rotti named Buddy who was a rescue. I felt so guilty having to leave him alone for six hours a day when I would have to go for my chemo yet when I would come home there he would be so happy to see me.
But then one day I was starting to get better and he came over and placed his head on my lap trying to let me know that it was time. I thought he wasn't eating much because I wasn't around but here it was cancer and I couldn't help him. I will never forget that time of my life. That hurt me way more than me having to go to my mothers funeral.
That is why no more pets for me. I have a feral cat that I was able to tame and get her fixed. That is it for me.So yes I love my animals. Way better than humans. Hope you get another one if or when you are ready to.